Tag Archives: personal reflections

Everything’s so blurry


This is a bit of a different subject for me, but I felt the need to say something. I know that people are hurting right now, there are lots of people that are unemployed and just need someone to give em a few bucks to help them get by but its getting bad. Ben and I went out to the loop (a popular  shopping and entertainment spot in St.Louis) and we got stopped 3 times in the 15 minutes we were there. We managed to avoid one guy who always sits on the same spot, so we didn’t cross the street until after we had passed him, which sounds like we were avoiding him, which I guess we were but he is out there every time I go to the loop.

The first person to actually stop us had stopped us once before, and had given us some story about how she was pregnant and just needed some money for some food and saying she hadn’t eaten in days. Back then I felt bad for her, but when I saw her yesterday I had to resist the urge to say something about that particular time. We only stopped long enough for her to say ” do you guys have a dollar I could have?”, which I didn’t.

The second person was a guy, who looked to be in his mid 40’s. This guy was good, in fact if I had any money he might have gotten it. He told us his story about how in the past he used to be a drug addict and he had 2 kids and there hungry and cold and there just trying to get home. At first it seemed as if he was asking for a ride, which there was no way he was getting, but then he suddenly made his intentions clear when he said he didn’t have enough money for his bus ride home, then he asked for $3. Looking at this man, I almost felt sorry, he did look a little dirty and sort of like he hadn’t gotten to shower in a day or two. Once again, I couldn’t help him even if I wanted to, I had no cash.

The third and final time we got stopped was the quickest of the three. It was a older lady, maybe mid to late 50’s…in fact should could have been 60. Her story was that she has a baby at home and she ran out of diapers, the only thing  I could say was sorry.

Despite the fact that I didn’t have any money, the few dishonest people in the world have made it hard to believe anyone’s story, no matter how tragic it may or may not be. I try and at lest listen to everyone’s story, because I to have been on the down and out, maybe not to the extreme that those who are begging for money are but in my own way.

I watched so many people just pretend that they were too good to even say hi to those people, and I just started thinking…

…. Everyone deserves to have there story heard….

…see everyone next week…


Out of left feild


I started to think about the events that have happened in my life recently, the good things and the bad, the victories and the struggles, and I’ve realized something. Being a part time blogger with only the things I choose to expose to the public eye, being out in the open, I always remember to leave you certain things. I’ve gotten asked, via tumblr, how come I never address my problems via my blog or tumblr, whether it be relationship problems or just something going on with family or friends. Well I didn’t answer the person’s question directly, I simply gave them a link to this blog and a date to go read it.

There is a logical explanation as to why I don’t talk about my relationship issues. I don’t want my dirty laundry out there for everyone to see. If I’m having a problem with a particular person there’s no reason for them to read about the situation on my blog, although I don’t consider it to be an off limits subject. It’s just something I do out of respect for the other parties as well as myself, and although I would love to be just as big as some of my favorite celebrities, I want to learn from their mistakes, not recreate them. Lets take Nikki Sixx and Kat Von D’s relationship for a example, in the public’s eye, there was the normal tabloid reports that always surface when the couple is famous, but when they each released a book during or shortly after the down fall of there relationship they both sort of made the other person look like a bad guy in my eyes. Although I’m sure this was done unintentionally  I don’t want to be like that, my relationship problems are, in fact, just that, MY PROBLEMS. So for that particular visitor, I hope that answered your question.

I’ll see all you next week!



Today, I was sitting around eating lunch and watching TV shows on Netflix when I received a text message from my brother. Wait a second, let me back up and explain bit more of a back story on why this text message was/is  “blog worthy”. I’ve always had this dream of traveling and taking photographs along the way, not necessarily for to sell them, my thoughts never went beyond the actual experience of taking them. Sadly enough I haven’t gotten to do as much traveling as I would have liked, and I only have photos from the St.Louis area, but it appears that exact thing might change. OK so back to the text message, I’ve already told you it was from my brother and I’ve giving you the hint that I might finally be able to do something I’ve wanted to do for a long time, now I tell you exactly what it is…and more importantly where it is.

He text-ed me telling me that he might being to New York to do some training for his job. He went on to invite me to go along…I don’t think that most of you will realize how grand of a opportunity this is for me. Ever since I pressed my eye up to a viewfinder of a camera when I was a kid I always dreamt of doing something along this sort.

At the current moment I’m unemployed, and I have no money, and my art career is going nowhere fast. What better time then now?

Well in fact I wouldn’t be leaving until the end of march if this trip actually happens. I’m hoping it dose.

Don’t get me wrong I love St.Louis and I don’t have any plans on leaving  on a permanent basis …but this is something…that for my dreams…I have to do.